Rest in Peace

Monday night, I got a call from my dad. He told me that my great grandma Gene was on her deathbed, and would probably pass on within the week. While I was sad to hear the news, I was happy that she would be out of pain. Her health has been deteriorating for many years, and I know she was in almost constant pain. Later that night, Dad called back to say that she had indeed passed on. The rest of the night was very sombre.

The rest of the week, I've felt ups and downs. I had a nice trip taking a conference of scientists to the Twenty Ninth Street Mall's Wonder of Science outdoor exhibits. I've seen the exhibits before, and it was fun to learn the scientists' perspectives on designing the exhibits and all of the factors involved. Thursday, Ashley and I met with the deacon to iron out the final paperwork. We're all done with classes and counseling, and the license is now at the church, ready to be signed on the big day.

Tonight was grandma Gene's visitation, but I was scheduled for my usual bus run. I called several people, but I couldn't find anyone. I didn't think it would be a large emotional issue if I missed the visitation. I didn't visit very often, but I did always feel like it was quality time. I loved grandma Gene. I guess it struck me as I drove in to work, and showed on my face when I walked into the office. Immediately, the scheduler and transit manager started looking for a substitute driver, and told me just to pre-trip the bus. I was very thankful. It was hard to admit, even to myself, but I was very sad at that moment. I'd always gone to visit grandma when it was convenient, but many things had been more important at the time. I couldn't believe that I had made work more important than her final visitation. As dull as it can be to drive buses, and as much as it sucks to give them extra time when they're in a pinch, I'm really blessed to have such good employers.

The visitation was a hard thing at first. I sat in my car at the mortuary for a few minutes before I could go into the building. When I located the visitation room, I couldn't immediately face that, either. When I finally found my way into the room, I met many distant relatives, some I had met once or twice, some not at all. I was surprised by how poorly I remembered the family tree on that side. I learned that grandma Gene's sister, Dee, had passed away on the same night, not 12 hours after Gene. I don't know if I ever met my great aunt Dee, but I do remember her name, at least.

It's been a very emotional night. I think I'll rest.